The Explanation of Pop Culture Ramblings
Okay, so I never update. It's not like more than THREE people read this site anyway, but I want to explain what I'm doing here just in case someone new decides to enjoy my crap.
THIS IS ONLY
Nah. There are so many things I see on TV or hear in the news, I feel the need to put my opinions out. Believe me, if I could turn on the computer and leave it on all day, I would be posting every five minutes or so with the shit I see. Really. This was supposed to be a ergular blog, but who wants to read about the inane doings of a housewife? Nothing I do now is in any way as spectacular as the things I did before the Big Move (see Tangents from Rantsville, the older), and I freely admit that. HOWEVER, there are still some things I feel the need to crap on about, and since you're reading this, you're obviously interested. Or maybe you're lost. Either way, you're here.

--The Queen

WHAT THE FUCK????
All right, I know it's been thousands of years since I've written anyuthing to satiate the masses, but for God's sake I've been on my honeymoon! Anyway, today I have a gripe, and a MAJOR one. I was just informed this morning, through channels bought public and private, that the WB network is cancelling Angel. For NO REASON that they're giving, this season is the last of Angel and Fred and Gunn and the rest. Fucking give me a BREAK. Other than the OC ripoff One Tree Hill and the Gilmor Girls, what's really holding that network afloat? For fuck's sake!
After Angel goes off the air, I am instituting a boycott of the WB. Not until they bring Angel back, but for good. After Buffy left and went to UPN, I had to bounce between channels for the BuffyBlock, and now that Buffy's gone, they're shysting the hot salty goodness of Angel, too? WHAT ARE THEY THINKING???
So I'm boycotting the WB.
Stay tuned, where tomorrow I talk about more banal things in my life, like a California bitch I need to get down on html.

--The Queen

More than One? Gotta be Friday Night!
Jesus I hate the weekend, especially all alone. Thanks okay, at least I'm getting drunk tomorrow night to forget the fact that the fucking NAVY bumped my husband's flight back until THURSDAY. AT ONE AM, for fuck's sake. Yippee, I think that I'm going to binge eat now...
But before I stuff my face with some yummalicious sandwichy goodness, I must comment again.
While I sit here and watch tv until the appropriate time for the Evening Phone Call (capital letters, please and thankyew), MTV2 has the most controversial videos on. BAH. Of course, because I am bored, I watched. You know, Britney Spears' voice has gotten HIGHER since "One More Time". No joke. Listen and tell me that my brain is shorting out.

--The Queen

The Denouncement of the Fauxhawk
What the FUCK is this new thing with the fauxhawk? It's like the new edgy hairstyle for rich people, and oh my GOD it looks hideous. You want a damn mohawk, shave your fucking head and DO IT RIGHT. Shaving your head, now THAT'S edgy. Just add a little liquid eyeliner and a fucking RANCID patch on your shoulder and you're retro-cool. Jesus.
It's going to be a long night, kids. There may be more.

--The Queen

The Last Desperate Act of the American Virgin
So news reports have come out saying that Britney Spears has gotten married. Yesterday, in Vegas, at the Little White Wedding Chapel. I have actually been to thie place, while my husband and I were perusing places at which to get married. It's not a bad place, in reality it's quite lovely. HOWEVER, the fact that Britney Spears tied the knot there...Bleah. Sources say that it was a joke gone too far and that Spears is already seeking an annulment. Bad joke, bad decision, or maybe it was a publicity stunt for the world's eyes to prove that once again the perpetual mouseketeer has grown up? I'm betting on the last one, and I've got my money down. Someone that deep in the public eye wouldn't do that because they would KNOW that they were being watched. And take it from me, getting married in Vegas is just a wee bit more complicated than walking in and doing it, no matter where you go. Fucking Britney Spears...

--The Queen

The Look of New-Fallen Snow
I fucking HATE it when it snows on this ridiculous island. There are NO, count 'em, NO seasons here WHATsoever, and yet still Mother Nature adds insult to injury by making it EVEN COLDER. Of course, it does rarely snow, but when it does...
There's only about a half an inch on the ground as I speak, and it will disappear hopefully later today because the sun's out, but DAMN. It figures on the day of my party it would snow. How the FAHK am I supposed to drive in this mess?

--The Queen

11 Days and a wake-up...
No hangover, thank god. However-
Dean Cain? DEAN CAIN?!?!?!? WHY is DEAN CAIN playing Scott Peterson in the TV movie? WHY??? Reaching, totally reaching. He's just WAY too recognizable as Superman's second incarnation (among other things) to be plausible as the perfect husband-cum-murder suspect. It just doesn't wash. And who's playing his wife, the doomed Laci? No freaking clue, because I was too busy focusing on pretty-boy Dean's face as a MURDER suspect. Bah. You know, if I had more of a life I wouldn't be complaining so freaking much about the ridiculousness of everyday TV viewing. It's time to pull out the weird wacky and ridiculous movie collection and do some reviews. Go ahead, tell me to rock on with my bad self you know you want to.

--The Queen

The Sexual Cha-Cha of the Male Ostrich
I had to write that down. Trust me, if you've ever seen a male ostrich trying to impress the laydeez you know what I'm talking about (you know who you are, bird-boy).
So here it is, New Year's Eve. As you probably haven't guessed, yours truly actually has plans for the evening. But how do you party hop when you only have a driver's permit and there are checkpoints everywhere? Good question, I'll guess I'll find out tonight. Wish me luck.
And today, tonight, rather, after midnight, marks the countdown. After tonight, there are twelve more days until my husband comes homes. You thought that I couldn't get any more erratic with my updates? Wait till he gets back, you're NEVER going to hear from me.
MOVIE TO CHECK OUT: The Order, with Heath Ledger. Okay, so he's a hottie, but ignore that fact for just a moment and take this flick based on its own merit for just a second. It's all about Catholicism, and that ALWAYS makes for good flickdom no matter what (okay FORGET the Left Behind movies, that's more Christian than Carolinian). Trust me, this movie should be checked out at least once. Yeah, there are some points left dangling in the wind, but in a way it makes sense because the focus of the story is resolved and that's all that usually matters.
Until tomorrow, kiddies, when I blast the world due to MASSIVE hangover.

--The Queen

Holiday Lament
I hate Christmas alone. My first major holidays as a married person and I'm sitting here like a depressed Oprah-watcher petting the cat and watching White Christmas and getting all teary-eyed. The Man comes home between the tenth and the twelveth of January, and I've had the tree up since the beginning of November. Next year should be better. BAH.
So here I am, with no money and nothing to do, begging for some kind of entertainment, and I realize just how crappy the holidays can be. This is worse than when I was in the fucking navy. BAH. HUMBUG.

--The Queen

I have GOT to stop watching MTV. Seriously. Just finished watching a Jessica Simpson video back-to-back with a Nick Lachey vid, and I think I'm going into sugar shock.
Look, I understand that if you don't look good you can't have a video on Emteevee, but to hear Jessie-babes singing about how she can be herself, even with just a t-shirt on, is ridiculous. She wears a plata-ma-pus shirt, snuggles on the couch eating chicken of the sea tuna, and stuffs her face with buffalo wings. Gee, she's making fun of herself after not using her brain, how CUTE! I don't know why it bothers me so much, or why the saccharine sweetness drives me SO crazy, but it does. Maybe because they always put it on RIGHT after her husband's vid, and BOTH are filmed at their spacious house. Bah. I wanna see a fat girl singing about her man making her feel beautiful, THEN I'll feel the love. Once again, BAH.

--The Queen

Rattled Out By Queenie at 8:05 AM

Updated: Thursday, 11 March 2004 5:39 AM

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