And The Wheel Goes Round...
Mood:  accident prone
Still sick, but now it's worse.I have a couple of things, but right now I'll just stick with the rest of what happened this week:
Wednesday: My friend with the nolonger gall bladder? Her boyfriend dumped her. HARD. I had to go pick her up so she could hang until he went to work. WITH MY HUSBAND. Her story is that he just said they should go their seperate ways. His story to my husband was that he had a super-submissive girl on the side that he met in a sub/dom chat room. At this point, (early monday morning) they have decided to both remain single while he sorts out his issues and gets some therpay. I like aggressive men, HATE the kinky dominant ones. Believe me, this guy is interesting to chat with, but in VERY small doses.
Oh, and I tripped and fell on a broken plate. Lots of first-aid needed.
Thursday: A bill collector calls and tells me that if I don't cough up 3 grand by monday they're going to sue me for it. Instantly I am plunged into a severe depression that the hub-unit can't pull me out of, and while I'm wallowing in guilt and down-ness I run into the door jamb. And then later while attempting to make Spamwiches (yum!), Hot oil splatters into my eye and effectively melts my contact lens. MY EYE!!! Did I mention that I have a thing about eyes?
Friday: uWe end up not sleeping ALL NIGHT and are up at dawn to try and apply for a loan. We are running around like dying chickens from 9AM to 3PM, and then we get the money. Suddenly, we're 3 grand richer. The debt collecter starts salivating at the prospect of getting their money, but when I tell them I have no job, they knock it down to 700 dollars. The hub-unit and I are now 2300 dollars richer, and we begin to salivate at the prospect of finally doing some home improvement. I don't remember injuring myself, but right before bed I notice a painful lump that has materialized on my HEAD right at my hairline. At this moment, it's still there and it still hurts.
Saturday: Right off I start to clean and end up whacking my nose with an extension cord. While I am bleeding I feel the need to shower. So does the hub-unit. After a few moments of fooling around, we towel off just enough to not get the sheets damp and....(DETAILS DELETED FOR DECENCY) suddnely the pain is so bad I start sobbing and I can't stand up straight and ten minutes later I'm in the ER with soap drying in my hair and feeling very embarrassed. Doctor's orders: no more boy-on-top sex. WTF??? It looks like I have something wrong with my uterus, and it was aggravated. MAJOR EMBARRASSMENT when explaining why I'm in so much pain "Well doc, we were having normal honest to god sex for the first time in a week and something just spazzed and now I can't walk upright..." BLEAH. We spend the rest of the day wlaking SLOWLY around WalMart as I try to find some clothes for fat chicks that fit, along with new curtains for the living room and new toys for the monkeys. I trip in WalMart and almost take down an entire display of Pumpkin Pie Filling. Did I mention I was in the ER for FIVE HOURS????
SUNDAY: What begins as a routine trip to buy cigarettes becomes a marathon shopping spree. New purchases include a pile of used books, a new microwave, some new countertop cannisters for my baking stuff, a new phone with extra handset for the bedroom, some Kitty Condos, and more curtains because the ones we bought the day before turned the living room bright green when the sun shined through them. At home, I drop the new microwave on my foot and am benched for the rest of the evening but my somewhat-concerned hub-unit.
Look, there's a whole lot I left out, but what with the whole constant pain thing, I can't go into super detail. I'll post something later today though, when I wake back up.
And I KNOW, I was supposed to post a trivia question and I never did. I'll just post an intersting bit later and see what yall think of it.

Sicker than a dog but still blogging
So I'm sick. Barfing all over. But does the hub-unit get sick? OF COURSE NOT!!!!
Kinda cute: The Navy presented me with an award for dealing with all their bullshit while my hubby stays in their clutches. They do it for all the spouses when their other re-enlists.
Yes, the hub-unit is very healthy and very much stuck still in the navy. Three years to go and then we're free and clear....
Bad news: Got the Doctor's results from my colposcopy and it doesn't look so good. "moderate to severe cervical dysplasia" is the diagnosis, which means more surgery. It's actually more of a more in-depth biopsy, but still. They are going to cut more chunks out of me. CHUNKS. BIGGER CHUNKS. The procedure's scheduled for next month, and until then I'm going to be in some pain, apparently. Yay. Yippee. Really. And to make everything better, once I get this thing done I can't have sex for at least a month. For fuck's sake. I quit.
And what does my mother think? Not a damn thing about the pain or the oozing or the mutated cells, oh no, she was immediately concerned about the ability to have babies.
I could go on, but sitting up is kinda hard to do for long periods of time. Guess I won't be ranting for long periods of time for a while.
Consider yourselves lucky. I'm full of rantiness, too.

I WON'T Talk About Michael Jackson, I WON'T Talk About Michael Jackson
Mood:  chillin'
For those of you that haven't seen the 1986 flick "Heavy Metal Parking Lot", it follows the goobs that hang out before a Judas Priest concert. It's great. There's a show on the Trio Network that follows the sam vein called "Parking Lot", and this is what I've been trying NOT to write about. But damn my eyes, tonight's was about Michael Jackson, and I just couldn't fucking RESIST...
Because I saw HER.
January of this year I went on a road trip with the Hub-unit to introduce him to my family, considering the fact that I had been married for three months already. At the last stop before heading home, we visited my aunt Marcie, my favorite relative. On an outside smoke break in her front yard, this woman with a dog comes up to us. She has that nervous, constantly-talking thing going on, but we try to be friendly.
Thing is, she's got facial hair. And not just a little easily-bleachable moustache, but a totally grown goatee lokkin thing chilling on her chin. She kept talking about how this was such a nice place, nicer than... I forget where. But she kept talking, and the three of us were getting uneasy because she was a total stranger with a BEARD and, well, it was fucking almost midnight and it was freezing and I'm not really a people person, especially a strange people person.
Believe me I have a point here.
So fifteen minutes ago I'm watching the crazy fanatics that worship Michael Jackson and support him despite the child molestation charges blah blah blah, and omyfuckingGAWD- It's HER. The crazy bearded lady from Norhtern Cali! What the fuck is she doing in SANTA BARBARA?
They keep the camera on her for EVER because she's got this HUGE Michael Jackson banner and she's talking about her love and support for the Wacko and how she's had a Michael Jackson museum for 20 years. Suddenly, I'm not surprised that I have met this person.
Lately, I never am.
And when the hub-unit comes home, you know I'm gonna shreik HOLY SHIT IT WAS HER! HER! HEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!
I'm almost tempted to go on a tear about the Michael Jackson thing, but my shock from seeing the weird chick is nearing overdom, and I feel the need to cuddle up to some Law and Order (Best Show EVER, btw.)

So Instead I Write THIS
Newest from NetFlix:
SECRETARY: Ha. LOVED IT. MUST HAVE IT. MUST NEVER LET HUB-UNIT WATCH.
MAY: I have a thing about eye injuries. Anything having to do with anything happening to an eye, and I vomit. So what was I thinking when I rented a movie about an anti-social young oddball who has a LAZY EYE?!?!? ICK. Why must it always be about the EYE?
HAPPINESS OF THE KATAKURIS: SO funny. If you can get past the whole foreign movie thing, I would suggest renting it. It's a japanese horror/musical/comedy, kind of like it you took a bad MTV Asia video and threw it in a mixer with The Sound of Music and Psycho, but took some of the scary out.
Maybe this netflix is a blessing in disguise. I am, after, the Queen of Pop Culture Knowledge, after all, and this is by FAR broadening my scope. I now have infinite juiciness at my fingertips. Woo.
Tomorrow, sometime, I actually have a trivia question. For those that want to get involved, it's gonna be a toughie. And I myself don't have the answer. Which I guess makes it a 'help me I'm a dork' question as opposed to trivia, but whatever.
Christ Jesus am I glad I'm feeling better.

Anatomy of a Breakdown
It's 6:05 AM, and I was going to write a play-by-play schematic of my mental capacity crumbling, but I've finally got it mostly under control. Mostly. For the most part.
I was going to talk about how my skin was tingling and attempting almost successfully to crawl OFF my body. I was going to try and discuss EXACTLY how suddenly unbelieveably claustrophobic I felt sandwiched between the hub-unit and one cat. ONE CAT. I was going to describe how the storm that has dominated the island for two days has kept me awake for the same amount of time because everytime I hear the smashings and crashings outside my window I am bombarded with images of my apartment collapsing and everyone dying in the wreck but me.
Being tired doesn't help. My paranoia is at an all time high at this point, and I refuse to get out of bed most days, or leave the bedroom. SOmething about the lack of sunlight and sleep that pushes me off the edge.
The hub-unit has done his best, but he was fraying at the edges and finally had to sleep. I understand. I miss sleep.
But no, I spent the last hour cruising the WWW in search of people less fortunate than I, and I've calmed down quite a bit. The rain has stopped, and I can no longer hear the wind. I'm glad, because I REALLY didn't want to have to go in to the emergency room for a freak-out.

New Baby Picture

I swear to god that will be the last one. I SWEAR.

The Rodent Problem Increases...

How about HIM for a new Rantsville Apartments Mascot?

And One More Before I Retire....
Mood:  bright
NEW YORK MINUTE- BLEAH.
MATCHSTICK MEN- I wanted to KILL the little girl. Spent the whole movie thinking, "Gee, this could be a GREAT movie if it weren't for the drama little teenager". Seriously. Wanted to KILL her. I hate teenage girls because I was one once. I know the drama.
LOST IN TRANSLATION- SLOOOOOOOOOOW. I guess I'm just a fucking philistine, because I didn't get it. The whole japan thing was cool though.
BAD BOYS II- Blow stuff up. UNGAWA! Actually, it was pretty good. A little unnecessarily icky in parts, but that's just me.
MONSTER- I was hoping that she was a little less sympathetic, but she was still fucked in the head. And WOW was she ugly. Did NOT need to see ugly lesbian sex. Really didn't. Other than that though.
I don't know why I can't seem to get behind any movies lately. I want to see one that really sticks in my head, but I fear that there will NEVER be another Donnie Darko.
Onward to naptime!

Why the Military is Like Survivor
1. OUTWIT- Everyone plays favorites. You have to suck ass in order to get anywhere, or to keep any position you may have been awarded. A little lube in the military is always appreciated.
2. OUTPLAY- He who gets drunkest with his buddies has the best stories to tell withint legal parameters, and then see #1.
3. OUTLAST- The longer you stay at any one given duty station, the better your chances at winning someone higher up over to your side.

The only reason I'm snarking is because the hub-unit got knocked out of his Branch LPO job because someone was playing favorites, an alliance if you will. It's fucking ridiculous.
And the ony reason I'm snarking about THAT is because he gets bumped down to shift supervisor, and the only shift that needs a superviosr is NIGHTS. That's the shift that starts at 5 PM and goes until 3 AM. Guess whose schedule that's gonna fuck up?
This could be a rough week.
And welcome to V, whose second posting has earned her a middle unit with a king-sized balcony. Not many of those left, you know.

Baby Robbie
Mood:  bright
Here he is!

Isn't he CUTE? He's all squishy and full of hair! I want to squeeze him and make boodgie-boodgie sounds! And believe me when I say no bullshit he looks JUST like his daddy. Just.
Next entry.